Sinai Stories

About nine months after my husband died I went up to Smith College to teach in the school of social work.  I lived in a faculty dorm and ate and had dialogues and drank wine with some very nice and interesting people.  It felt like the switch from black and white to color in The Wizard of Oz.  The following fall I was going to a professional meeting with Marcie Solomon and Janis Colton.  I told them about that experience and said that it made me wonder if I should move to somewhere like Riderwood to have that feeling of community that helped so much with my loss and loneliness.  They told me I was too young for that and that I could stay right where I was on Willard Avenue but join them at Temple Sinai for that same sense of community and connection.  So I started going to events at the temple.  It felt like a place where I might feel at home.  I finally joined.  I signed up for some committee work.  I met welcoming people with whom I felt comfortable.  They shared my values, interests, and sense of humor.  I am so glad they invited me.  I have found my community and a home for my soul.

-Carolyn Gruber

My connection with Temple Sinai began nearly 20 years ago.  Before starting college at GW, I worked at Camp Harlam.  There, I met Rabbi Reiner who was on staff for a two week rotation.  After working together on a few programs, he encouraged me to visit Temple Sinai if I needed anything while in DC.  Shortly thereafter, Rabbi Reiner introduced me to Marilyn Goldhammer and I started teaching Sunday school to fifth graders.  I enjoyed teaching and I earned enough money to cover my entertainment expenses (including taking my then girlfriend, now wife, Raanan, on dates).

Being involved in a synagogue was not new to me.  I am a third generation Reform Jew.  My maternal grandparents were founding members of my childhood synagogue, Temple Emanuel in Cherry Hill, New Jersey.  My first Jewish memories are of the old Union prayer book — it could fit in your hand and was filled with enough “thou” “shalt” and “thy” that reading Shakespeare was never an issue.  My Jewish identity, centered around my Temple, was a vital part of my life:  all four grandparents were members as well as uncles, aunts, and cousins; my father was a congregational President; I was a local and regional youth group president; I went to Camp Harlam; traveled to Israel for six weeks at 16 years old; and most of my friends were from the Temple.  I left for college with a strong Jewish foundation.

Much to my parents’ delight that foundation continued.  I met my wife at GW Hillel.  We became members of Temple Sinai shortly after we married and before having children.  Both of our families still live up north, so we go to New Jersey for the High Holidays.  For all other occasions, we are at Temple Sinai.  Our children went to Temple Sinai nursery school and now to Sunday school.  I am privileged to serve on a few Temple Sinai committees.

The challenge now is how to provide our children the solid foundation our parents provided us.  My parents made it look so easy to do.  They made the Temple be a central part of my life.  My aim is to do the same for my children.

Temple Sinai’s vision is precisely what we are looking for our family:  “[A] congregation where members feel a strong sense of Jewish community; enjoy a personal connection with the Temple and their clergy; are intellectually and spiritually engaged; are inspired, stimulated and challenged by the Reform Jewish tradition; and are building a strong foundation for the future.”  That’s exactly what we have at Temple Sinai.  The proof is how enthusiastic our children are about Temple Sinai.  It reminds me of how I felt about my Temple growing up.

It is my sincere hope that if my children are asked one day to write a note in their synagogue’s newsletter, they will be able to write something similar.  That will be at least one sign that I was as successful as my parents in providing them with a strong Jewish foundation for the future.

-Michael Baratz

The Chanukah Mart for me is like an open tent –  a chuppah.  It has four poles and four pole holders who hold it high for all of us to come under.

The first pole holder is the overall Chair, Carole Brand.  Like the manager of a large train station, Carole has a strong arm, sets the tone, makes sure that all the trains are running on time, sees that the signage is clear and that everyone knows where to go and knows their jobs and, that no one misses the event.

The second pole holder oversees the planning, purchase, preparation and serving of all the delicious food that is served.  Libby Merrill, the Food Chair, manages the operation as befitting the CEO of a company. She starts in July with promotion scouting and the procurement of gift card donations from grocery stores to help purchase ingredients, makes endless trips to unimaginable sources, and runs a cost-to-price analysis on each item on the menu to ensure a profit, all the while maintaining top quality.

The third pole holder is the Manager of the Judaica Shop.  Meg Seldin quietly adds more menorahs, more kids’ stuff, more of whatever she deems needed.  She and the store are like Mary Poppins and her bag – she opens it and one has no idea what magical items will come out of it, nor how at the end of the day it will all fit back into its small space.

The fourth pole holder is the Vendor Chair.  Cara Jablon is TSWRJ’s other consummate scout.  Her work moves on a continuous loop throughout the year.  She is forever looking for new agents, keeping her eye on quality and craftsmanship.

But the Mart does not stop with the pole holders.  There are so many volunteers who year after year take on the planning and management of particular sections of the Mart.  Rita Brickman organized the sign-up of the more than 100 volunteers.  Catherine Ribnick and Robin Glantz ran the Bake Sale; Robin Frosh oversaw the cooking;  Jo and Len and Marla and Mark and Laura made sure the kitchen ran before, during, and after the event; Haya and Alix were at the kids table; Nick and Jon procured, provided tastings and received donations for some  wonderful Israeli wine; Ilana designed and redesigned the postcards, posters and flyers; Bonnie expanded our publicity; Gertrude (wo)maned the WRJ table; Alice continued to knit her creations; and among all these folks our Treasurer Bobbe moved around the room like the wind with bags of money under her wings making sure the wheels of the Mart were turning just right.

And after all of these heavy lifters came the rest of us.  We came when called — to serve food, to man all the stations, to shop and to dine, and to support our community.

One of my favorite moments is at the end of the day.  The vendors are for the most part gone, the shop and helper are still busy packing it all away and the temple staff is folding the tables and sweeping away the debris.  The rest of us are finishing vendor check out and munching on leftovers.  Inevitably someone asks “So how did we do today?”  We all then look around and know that we did OK.  Because at the end of the day it is not how much we did and whether we did better than last year.  It is just the fact that we were again holding the tent, inviting the whole community to come in – to do some work, support each other, and have fun in the process.

Start thinking about next year’s Mart.

-Deborah Tanno, TSWRJ Co-President

When I was a teenager attending High Holy Day services, the liturgy did not speak to me. “Who shall live, and who shall die,” part of Unetanah Tokef, the central prayer of the Rosh Hashanah
service, had little meaning to me then or even later when I was in my 20s and 30s.

I am now in my late 50s and have experienced some of life’s struggles and the deaths of family members, the parents of friends, and even some of my children’s classmates, and I find the
liturgy powerful, searingly so at times, and the High Holy Days deeply meaningful.

For example, the Al Chet prayer is a chastening reminder of the various ways we all fall short of our best, the Akedah is still disturbing to me even after having read and thought about it for years, and our clergy
always give me something to reflect on in their sermons.

At the High Holy Days, when I sit with my sons or even by myself if they are away – I can never sit with my wife Liz because she sings in the choir – I also know that I am part of something that transcends me, and I feel especially connected to those who came before me and, through my children, to the next generation, not just to my contemporaries.

I have wondered if I would find the High Holy Days as meaningful and affecting if I went to services somewhere else besides Temple Sinai. After all, the liturgy would essentially be the same, and, although I like to think that our clergy are the best, I imagine that I would hear thoughtful, stimulating sermons at many other synagogues.

However, I know the answer is, “No.” The reason is that Judaism is experienced in community, which takes time to develop, and Liz and I have put down deep roots at the temple during our 25+ years of membership.

Our sons were named here and became b’nai mitzvah and confirmands here; we have shared in the joys and sorrows of our friends here; and we have developed valued relationships with the clergy and staff.

That is why, when, during the High Holy Days, I see Liz in the choir, our friends in the congregation, and our clergy, I know that I am in my spiritual home, and that is a wonderful feeling.

-Steve Messner

Those people who know me understand that once I make a connection, I often become very invested in the connection and don’t like to let go. That’s why I am still involved in Temple Sinai’s Nursery School, despite the fact that my youngest of three boys is about to graduate from high school this coming May.

Like many other folks, I was a younger parent with young kids right around the time that Temple Sinai decided to start a nursery school. As a recent transplant from New York City, my husband and I sought the advice of local friends when we decided that it was time to send our then 3 year old to nursery school. Our friends told us about TSNS. When we first visited the school we were blown away by the enthusiasm and vitality of the founder and still director (after 22 years), Perri Iger-Silversmith.

We sent all three of our boys to TSNS and we fundamentally believe that their years at nursery school gave all of our boys a wonderful, healthy, and rich start. TSNS is a school that pays attention to those things that are the most important: the teachers are attentive to individual needs, they respect the unique learning styles and temperaments of children, and all of the staff believe that it is of vital importance to make children feel safe and secure. TSNS is play-based, progressive, and attracts warm and engaging teachers who understand the development of young children.

The friends I made when my children were at nursery school continue to be among my closest friends today. We formed a very tight-knit group when the kids were younger and we are still the best of friends. Not only that, but our children, who met each other over 20 years ago, as toddlers, continue to be the best of friends. I think it is absolutely fantastic that my boys will have life-long friends from their nursery school years—that is so powerful and so unique!

I am still active with the nursery school committee, which meets about 7 times a year; it is important for me to stay in touch with the ongoings of the school in that respect. In addition, I am the facilitator for the “Mommy and Me” program that TSNS offers to those children who are 18 -24 months old—these are toddlers who are not quite old enough to go to nursery school. The toddlers come, along with a parent or caregiver, to a “mini-class” once a week in an effort to become acclimated to the longer nursery school day.

As you can see, Temple Sinai’s nursery school has been a powerful and wonderful part of my life and the life of my children. I will always feel grateful for the lasting relationships that we have all developed from our powerful and meaningful years at TSNS!

-Nancy Golding

When I first discovered the YAWS group (the acronym for parents of young adults who struggle), I didn’t know what I wanted from it.  I just knew that it was important that I attend, and I expected that I would figure out the why as I went along.  What I quickly came to experience was that it was a safe haven unlike any gathering that I had previously encountered.  Conceived of and led by a courageous temple parent, and with the support of temple clergy, this group welcomes not the struggling young adults who have already had untold opportunities, but their parents who have suffered so much, mostly in silence and emotional isolation.

Our son was in his mid-teens at the time that I discovered the YAWS group.  His Autism Spectrum Disorder (read incurable and life-long), had not been diagnosed until he was 12.  From the time he was six, when we began to worry that his was more than an attentional problem, I had been consumed with trying to understand him and provide him with every conceivable means to have a “normal” life.

Parents who attend the YAWS group have sons and daughters not only with Autism Spectrum Disorders but also bi-polar and other serious mental disorders, severe depression and life-threatening eating disorders, alcohol and drug problems, etc.  Some have been hospitalized; others incarcerated. Many have attended, even graduated, from prestigious universities.  We the parents had all started out with the usual high hopes reflective of our professional, high functioning community.  As our children’s challenges unfolded, our hopes of course had to alter accordingly.  Our success is getting to accept that what’s most important for our young adult children is not to be a professional with multiple degrees, a large bank account, a spouse and children, but to be as independently functioning as possible, to be kind and respectful with others, and to have some satisfying, enjoyable work or other activity, and a few friends, i.e. to not be idle, angry and living in our basements.  And to know that they are loved by their parents.

While we the parents have all struggled with our own anguish, fear, sadness and shame, we have also managed to be genuinely happy for our family members and friends brimming over with pride and joy in their typical young adult’s latest accomplishments.  We learn to focus on our similarities with our friends and not on our differences; to take care of ourselves as individuals and to make as interesting and enjoyable a life for ourselves as we can. We are not only as good as our kid’s worst problem; we are as good as we can be, as individuals.

The YAWS group, unique in the entire Washington area, supports parents not only by providing a range of helpful resource information but, more importantly, a safe haven of empathy and understanding.  Thank you, Temple Sinai.

-Anonymous

Many Jewish families with children approaching their 13th birthday have likely thought about how best to approach planning for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration.  Like any major event or family oriented party, a number of options are considered and usually it involves a lot of stress.

Our daughter, Rebecca is turning 13 this November and we too, considered various options, particularly once our Bat Mitzvah date was quickly approaching.  We had heard about the trip that Rabbi Roos does to Israel every summer since he joined the temple as Senior Rabbi.  On this trip, Rabbi Roos performs the Bat Mitzvah celebration in Jerusalem in a beautiful outside ceremony while escorting the entire group around Israel for almost two weeks.  After much discussion, this option became very attractive to us for the following reasons:

• we have a small extended family
• a big service and party was a poor fit for our family
• our resources would be better applied for family travel and exploration
• this might be a great way to better connect with Temple Sinai

We can safely report that taking this trip to Israel was the best family decision we ever made.  Our family of four (Steve, Sue, Rebecca and Julia) all went along with one grandparent (Carol).  We were joined by Rabbi Roos and his family along with two other Temple Sinai families who we did not know.  In total, this trip had two Bat Mitzvah celebrations.

The trip actually exceeded our already high expectations.  We developed great friendships with the other two families, watched our daughter become a Bat Mitzvah in Jerusalem looking over the old city and formed a closer bond with Rabbi Roos and his family.  We all know that Rabbi Roos is a great Rabbi but most congregation members likely do not know that he is very approachable, accommodating and an absolute pleasure to travel with.  Rabbi Roos was always lending a helping hand to the kids and to the grandparents on the trip.  He was there to provide our youngest daughter, Julia, an explanation about Yad Vashem so she could understand its importance and relevance in Jewish world history.  So, in terms of connecting with Temple Sinai…mission accomplished!

Despite the unrest occurring in Israel during our trip, we had absolutely no stress nor any issues.  The tour guide Rabbi Roos secured was one of the best guides I ever have had in all my travels.  All eight children on the trip bonded and spent as much time on land as they did in water.  The itinerary allowed for plenty of unscheduled time for you to explore as well as seeing the major sights such as Masada, the Dead Sea and key places in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.  Aside from the Bat Mitzvah, the most memorable part of the trip was gaining a deeper understanding of the Jewish people from antiquity to date, the birth of the Jewish state and the geo-political factors that drove it after World War 2.

While we have always considered ourselves “culturally” Jewish (or as they say in Israel, secular), we have attended temple on the high holy days.  After this trip, we have more of a calling to attend other services, do a Shabbat dinner and learn more of the prayers.  This was all driven by the time we spent in Israel with Rabbi Roos.  Not only do we feel more connected to him but also to our Judaism.

In summary, this trip touched our lives on many levels:

• It was the first big trip we took as a family
• We gained great insight into Israel and Jewish history
• Developed great new friendships
• Have better appreciation for being Jewish, our Temple and Rabbi Roos

We hope that you strongly consider this option when the time comes for your family.

-Sue and Steve Schiffman

Nina Borwick is a long-time Temple Sinai member, whose dedicated and active involvement in the Temple community enriched her life, her family’s, and the lives of those with whom she interacted. In June, Nina and her husband, Tony, will be moving to the Los Angeles area to embark on a new adventure in retirement and be closer to their daughter, Abigail, who lives and works there now.

Although we’re happy for Nina and Tony, the Library Committee, especially, is sorry to be saying goodbye to Nina, one of our longstanding and most active members.   An elementary school teacher, Nina’s love of books and her background in publishing led her to volunteer in the Temple Sinai Library.  The Used Book Sale at the Temple’s Chanukkah Mart, which involved selecting and organizing the books for the sale and being in the Library during the actual sale, was one of her many signature projects.  Another of her important roles was working with the Librarian and other volunteers to identify new books to add to the collection and to keep the book collections organized and in good condition.  Most recently, she tackled, along with another volunteer, the arduous task of culling old and out-dated books. Nina brings her considerable energy, drive, and commitment to all the volunteer activities in which she has been engaged since she and Tony joined Sinai in the late 1980s.  She will be greatly missed.

Nina’s first volunteer work for Temple Sinai was as a member of the Religious School Committee during the time their daughter Abigail was attending the school.  She later chaired the Kallot Committee and served on the Sisterhood Board as Recording Secretary.   Even when serving on other committees, Nina’s love of books showed. We have Nina to thank for starting the popular Author’s Roundtable and convincing some prominent authors to participate in the early years, including Dara Horn. When Nina takes on a project, it gets done!

In addition to her volunteer work, Nina is proud that she was in the first adult Bat Mitzvah class of 11 women, leading to her Bat Mitzvah in 1993.  Nine of the women plus Rabbi Portnoy formed a book club that has continued to this day.

Those of us on the Library Committee count Nina as a loyal and loved friend, as do so many others at Temple Sinai, including her book group colleagues, her kallah, and members of Sisterhood.  We all wish Nina and Tony well as they enter their new stage of life.

Nina was interviewed by Herb Mintz for this article

When we joined Temple Sinai 40+ years ago, Marvin and I were eager to connect with a Jewish community for ourselves and especially for our four young children.  Almost from the beginning, he served on various committees and for some years was an officer on the Temple Board.  Clearly his desire to be formally involved was far stronger than mine.

Because I had been raised in a New York City Jewish family with no synagogue affiliation, I had no clear idea of what, if anything, I wanted to do as a part of the temple community.  Primarily my main focus was to support the efforts of the religious school and the youth group for the sake of my kids and to do as much as I could at home to express our Jewishness by celebrating the holidays and, above all, by making the most of all our lifecycle events as they came along. (Fortunately we had a lot of success in this latter area as different Sinai rabbis saw our children through B’nei Mitzvah, Confirmation, three out of four weddings and eventually baby namings for five of our grandchildren.)

Once all our children were in school full time, I returned to the workplace. That gave me yet another reason to shy away from accepting any Temple commitments that meant holding an office or attending regular meetings.  Instead I volunteered for one-time-only assignments such as organizing a white elephant sale, writing an occasional Sisterhood column for the Newsletter, baking and cooking for special occasions, and hosting fund-raising dinners for Sinai House.

Then about 30 years later, when I decided to stop working, I set out to do some meaningful volunteering. Becoming active in Sisterhood hadn’t occurred to me, however, until the day I received a call asking me to become a member of the Board.  At that point I said “yes” mainly because I had no excuse to say “no.”

Once involved, it became apparent to me that the women meeting in the library during our monthly Sunday morning sessions approach their work with the same energy and passion I had seen at the office.  Their mission to serve the Temple, the Washington community and the greater community clearly comes from the heart. And they are constantly searching for new ways not only to expand their reach but also to attract new members who bring new ideas and new enthusiasm to the table.

It was at that same table more than a year ago that we first discussed resurrecting the idea of a Sisterhood retreat weekend – but with a new approach more suited to the taste of today’s women.  As a Co-Chair of this effort to encourage connection both among Temple Sinai women and with our clergy, I can tell you that we achieved all that we hoped for. The 52 women who came together at a Baltimore inn to worship, study, dine and relax now comprise a core group that Sisterhood will be working to expand in the years to come.

This experience is especially gratifying for me as it gives new meaning to my long association with Temple Sinai.  In addition, it proves beyond doubt that the more you give to an organization, the more you get back in return.

-Sally Kranz

Second generation Holocaust survivor – a compelling part of my identity and that of many of my friends growing up in Bayside, NY. It came with a determination to never forget our history and to always make our parents proud of us and of our upholding our Jewish traditions.

The shul that I grew up in was essentially conservadox. While religious school attendance was mandatory for my sister and me the instruction was minimal. What I really yearned for was to be up on the bima with my father, which of course was not permitted. Years later, when it came time for my husband Scott and me to join a congregation here in Washington, we reflexively joined one much like my childhood shul.

Our children attended nursery school there and occasionally Scott and I would attend services. Yet we never really felt that we fit in. Finally, when our eldest daughter began bat mitzvah preparation we made the big move over to Temple Sinai. Still, I worried about what dad would think of it. He had always been a believer in women’s rights, yet I knew that that belief did not extend to the shul. He reluctantly attended the bat mitzvah and it was not until the end of the service, when he pronounced “I liked it” that I breathed a sigh of relief.

Soon after we joined the congregation I was invited to sit on the bima which pleased me immensely but I essentially coasted and remained uninvolved for the next few years. Finally, in 2004 I joined the adult b’nai mitzvah group. It was a time in my life when I realized that my aging parents would be gone one day and that I needed to do my part to feel comfort and at home in my temple community. And I still wanted to make my father and mother proud. My opportunity came with the preparation needed for my first torah reading after my adult bat mitzvah. I called my father every day to practice the parasha, and would hear him say that he was proud of me as I chanted. It was a milestone in my life and I believe in his as well. Son or daughter, I was carrying on a tradition that he had suffered to preserve.

The moral of this story is you reap what you sow. For several years Scott and I attended High Holiday and occasional Shabbat services but it was not until I dedicated myself to making an effort to contribute that I developed my strong connection to Temple Sinai. Now, as Executive Vice President of Sisterhood, I take great pleasure in connecting with other women in the planning of interesting and meaningful programming that benefits the entire temple community. And what an opportunity it was for me to serve as Co-Chair of the first TSWRJ Retreat and welcome others to become connected and develop their own feeling of familiarity and comfort with our Temple Sinai community.

-Ilana Gordon